Jaded is done—has been for a few weeks now. There’s just one teensy little problem…it kind-of-sort-of-maybe-might-have two endings.
Seeing as my novel is not a Choose your own adventure type of story, it only requires one ending. One. Uno. Unus (sorry, that’s the extent of my foreign language skills). And yet, it has two. Hence my predicament.
My sister suggested I give it to my first readers (which includes her) and let them pick which one they like best. My first reaction was a resounding NO! I winced now, just thinking about it.
After I sat back and thought about it some more, my reaction didn’t change much. The thing is, this is my story to tell. Jade Henry is my character, someone I dreamed up, created, gave a voice to, spun into a novel. While I feel Jaded isn’t the end to her story, I’m having trouble figuring out how it is I want to wrap up this chapter of her life. Call me selfish, but I don’t want someone else choosing the fate of my character. I’ve invested quite a large chunk of time into this novel and that investment is only going to grow as I dive headfirst into the long, grueling process of getting it published. I need to know—without a doubt—that everything is right; that I’ve created a character that feels real and that I can back 100%.
I know what you’re thinking—I’m being chicken, playing scared, I’m not ready for anyone to read it, blah, blah, blah.
I hope that’s not it, because honestly, I’m not stalling. Promise. At least, I’m not doing it on purpose. Promise. I just don’t want to play eeny, meeny, miny, moe with the ending. This is so incredibly important to me and I want—need—to choose. But, I want it to feel right.
So, yeah. I’m just going to go and stop being a coward now.
– lindsey archer