morning person

I’m not a morning person.

I’m not one of those people who wake up on Saturdays and Sundays at the same time I wake up for work, Monday thru Friday. You know how some claim they get up at the crack of dawn on weekends because they just cannot get out of their weekday routine? Freaks, right?

Oh, you do that? That sucks. My bad.

Ask anyone that knows me and they will tell you—I’m a bitch to wake up in the morning. Super cranky. My best friend, Megan, used to go on a Starbucks run before I woke up if she wanted my participation for anything before noon on a weekend. She’d waive my venti-caramel-add–vanilla-bean-powder-no-whip-frappuccino under my nose like it was a cloth drenched in chloroform. Without the bribe, the most she would get out of me would be a short grunt, possibly a leave me the Hell alone—with no recollection of said grunting or one-sided conversation once I fully awoke.

That’s where Megan and I always differed. Growing up a couple houses apart, we’ve been best friends since we were three years old. During many of our countless sleepovers, it used to drive me crazy when we’d put a movie on at night and she’d be out before the opening credits finished scrolling, only to wake up at the crack of dawn the next morning, poking and prodding me to hurry and wake up, already. Though, I have to admit, I did my fair share of poking her in the arm and/or face while trying to persuade her to stay up for those movies. At least we still had all those middle of the day hours for playing the crazy ass games our imaginations dreamed up (one day I will write a children’s book entitled poison ivy—stay tuned).

So…you’re either a morning person or a night owl. Me? Night owl—all the way. Trust me, if I ever promise to wake up in the morning in order to meet a deadline or finish a project for you because I’m too tired and I need to go to sleep right now…? Well, I’m lying to you. I’m not getting up. I’m much more productive when I stay up until 4 or 5 in the morning, than when I tuck in early and try to wake up anywhere close to that hour. Because 9 times out of 10, I’m not waking up—no matter how much coffee you tempt me with. I think that contributes to why I sleep in on the weekends (at least that’s my excuse). I stay up so late during the week to get everything done that I have no choice but to catch up on my sleep during the weekend in order to keep my body from shutting down.

With everything I’ve got going on right now, I’ve been constantly reminded of the fact you can’t have it both ways. I haven’t gone to bed before 2 am this week and being woken up at 4 am this morning because my cat is bored and wants my attention (that I obviously haven’t been able to give him enough of lately) doesn’t really help matters. You do actually have to get some sleep in order to be rewarded with any pockets of productivity. Too bad they don’t have caffeine IV drips. I would totally invest in one of those.

Why have I been getting so little sleep, you might ask? In addition to a bunch of other crap I won’t bore you with, I’ve done a lot of writing. The first five chapters of Jaded are officially complete. I hear what you’re saying…only five chapters??!? Well, shut it. My book is divided into three parts and part one is compromised of those five chapters. 84 pages. 30,079 words. That’s a lot of words and being able to say those chapters are complete feels really, REALLY good—you have no idea. While I don’t think I’ll be able to keep running on so little sleep, if I can stay somewhat close to my recent routine, I’ll be done editing my entire book by the end of July. So, please pardon me if my bitchy side rears its head a little more often over the next month or so.

Or just buy me some Starbucks. I have a weakness for venti iced caramel macchiatos.

– lindsey archer

side note – If anyone calls/texts/emails/tweets me before noon this Saturday…we’re fighting. Now excuse me while I go struggle for a few hours of sleep before Mulligan wakes me up at 4 am again.

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  1. a different kind of block « lindsey e archer

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